Hate Wine Flasks for Company? Here is Why You Can’t Snag the Girl Next Door
Why She Won’t Look At You
Girls are a strange species. When they flip for a guy, they’ll be coy but flirt with their eyes and their moves. But when they do not like your looks, a face that even Nathan Scott would gladly die for, they will avoid eye contact at all cost, even if you do a cartwheel five inches away from their pretty noses. You are invisible, period. So off you trudge to the sunset with one of your favorite flasks filled to the brim with gin, and with your leather magnetic money clip loaded with crisp bills for a hopeful night out.
Why oh why is she seeing that jerk who only has half of your killer looks? That is right, killer looks. You eye the girl with an intense stare and she resents it, is afraid of it. If you cannot even let her look at you, how else can you have the nerve to explain that you just want to etch those smiling green eyes, pouty pink lips, and cute upturned nose in your memory bank?
You cannot even tell her you’re not an alcoholic and just an occasional drinker, and her snubbing you is becoming frequent occurrences. That is why you drink. Heck, this is no excuse. Pull yourself together and rate yourself.
Here’s why you are loaded with groomsman gift goodies, yet cannot be a boyfriend, much more a groom:
* Your hairstyle is yucky. Don’t blame your bad hair days. Maybe you sport long rocker locks or spikes that look unwashed for ages. If you think long hair is sexy, think again. Men can get away with shorter naughty locks; look at Ricky Martin and Tom Cruise. Their hair has style. This 2008, the latest in men’s hairstyle is the Al Capone look, but if you don’t dig it, the buzz or the pared-down look might give you the clout to ask her out. You can also change your hairstyle every three months to keep yourself interesting and brand-new.
* Stained teeth. All that caffeine and nicotine can discolor your teeth. Women are quickly turned off by stained pearlies; try those whitening teeth gel now available. In the meantime, while you’re dosing your ivories, get out of the scene for a while and return with a vengeance. You’ll knock her out with a dazzling smile.
* Body odor. Take heed of your sister’s shrieks everytime you toss off your dirty socks. This should alert you that the girl-next-door could smell you a mile away. Ditch that canvass shoes; it makes your feet sweat like crazy. Wear sandals or leather shoes and rotate your shoes. Wearing the same shoes for weeks might drive away skunks and sadly, the girl, too.
* Extremely tight jeans. Forget about sexy. Not all women like men bulging in their jeans. You either trim down the fat, or buy looser jeans and pants.
With all these tips, she should be starting to look at you in a friendly way. The next step is learning how to ask her for a date. Good luck.
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